These Advice shared by My Parent Which Saved Me when I became a First-Time Parent

"In my view I was merely trying to survive for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey expected to manage the difficulties of fatherhood.

But the reality soon proved to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Severe health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was forced into becoming her primary caregiver in addition to caring for their infant son Leo.

"I handled all the nights, each diaper… each outing. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he burnt out. It was a conversation with his parent, on a park bench, that helped him see he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward statement "You are not in a good spot. You require assistance. What can I do to support you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and start recovering.

His situation is far from unique, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now more comfortable addressing the strain on mothers and about PND, not enough is spoken about the difficulties new fathers encounter.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to request support'

Ryan feels his difficulties are symptomatic of a wider failure to communicate among men, who continue to hold onto negative notions of masculinity.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and remains standing every time."

"It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. I was too slow to do that quick enough," he explains.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health before and after childbirth, explains men often don't want to admit they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental state is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the opportunity to take a respite - spending a few days abroad, separate from the family home, to gain perspective.

He understood he required a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's emotions alongside the logistical chores of caring for a infant.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd overlooked "what she needed" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his feelings as a dad, which he wishes his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will help his son better understand the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his parenting choices.

The concept of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen was without consistent male guidance. Even with having an "wonderful" relationship with his dad, profound difficult experiences resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their relationship.

Stephen says repressing feelings caused him to make "poor decisions" when he was younger to change how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as escapism from the pain.

"You turn to substances that aren't helpful," he explains. "They might briefly alter how you feel, but they will eventually make things worse."

Tips for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, confide in a family member, your other half or a therapist how you're feeling. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the activities that allowed you to feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. It could be going for a run, seeing friends or a favourite hobby.
• Look after the physical stuff - nutritious food, getting some exercise and where possible, getting some sleep, all play a role in how your mental state is coping.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - listening to their journeys, the challenges, along with the positive moments, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Know that requesting help does not mean you've failed - taking care of yourself is the best way you can care for your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly found it hard to accept the death, having had no contact with him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead give the security and emotional guidance he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "shaking the feelings out" together - managing the feelings in a healthy way.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become better, healthier men since they acknowledged their struggles, transformed how they talk, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, sometimes I believe my role is to teach and advise you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a dialogue. I'm learning an equal amount as you are through this experience."